Mabel looked at
her mother’s face. Her eyes were teary with a ball of tear about dropping down
her cheek.
“You really suffered o,” Mabel
said.
“It was not easy,” her mother
said. “My parents helped me a lot. They accepted you and your sister.”
“We are their grand children
na. So they didn’t have a choice.”
“Yes you are, but the manner
which you came, they initially saw it as shameful.”
“I understand. Their daughter
did not get married officially and had not one child out of wedlock, but two.”
“Yes. Even though with time,
everybody forgot about the shame. We lived with them for a while.”
“Yes, I remember growing up with
them.”
“While they helped take care
of you girls, I was able to finish up clearance in school and got my
certificate. I couldn’t go for Youth Service because of you girls, so I left
it. My father then helped me get this civil service job I have been in since
then.”
“Eiyaa.”
“When I saved enough money, I
got this apartment and moved out of my father’s house. They didn’t want us to
leave but it was the best thing for us to do. There were many people living in
the house at the time; cousins, and so on. So I needed to get my own space and free
space for them too.”
“How did you cope?”
“From time to time, they still
sent me money and food stuffs.”
“The life of a single mother
is not an easy one.”
“Dealing with heartbreak is
worse; much worse.”
“Men are just heartless.”
“Not all of them. At least my
father is a wonderful man.”
“Yes, grandpa is.”
It was News Hour
on the TV station that was on.
“Do you want to listen to the
news?” Mabel asked her mother.
“I am not in the mood for that
now,” her mother replied.
Mabel reduced the
volume of the TV set.
“Remembering those days gives me chills,” her
mother said.
“Thank God it turned out for
good,” she said to her mother. “At least we are consolations to you,”
“Yes my dear. I am glad
whenever I see you and Cynthia. You are bundles of joy. That is why I feel bad
when I see you go through pain.”
“So, how did you handle your
issue with men?”
Her mother thought for a while and said, “I did not
do anything particular about it. I just made up my mind that men were all the
same and not worth wasting time on. I focused on making ends meet and raising
you and your sister.”
“What about your feelings for
men?”
“It was a struggle then. Before
I made up my mind about men, I got into some relationships, hoping they would
lead to something meaningful. Most of them withdrew when they realized I
already had two kids. The few who hung on just wanted to sleep with me.”
“That’s terrible.”
“When it was difficult
settling down with a man, I decided to forget about it and raise you girls.”
Mabel sighed and
sunk into the couch. Her mother cleaned her eyes with the back of her hand. They
were silent for a while. It was Mabel who broke the silence.
“What do you suggest I do
about this?” she asked.
“I think it is too early to
block him off totally,” her mother replied. “You never know what really went
wrong. The other girl could have bewitched him.”
“I don’t think so. He has been
acting strange long before now.”
“How?”
“He stopped calling me. He
hardly picked my calls. He only spoke with me and visited when he wanted…”
“…to sleep with you,” her
mother finished for her.
“Yes,” Mabel said shyly. “I am
a bad girl right?”
“Not at all. He was someone you wanted to settle down
with. That is not to say it is right to do it before marriage. It is not.”
“I know. Just couldn’t help
it. I truly loved him.”
“Then just hold on and find
out what exactly happened.”
“Are you suggesting I call
him?”
“Well…”
“Even though I still have
feelings for him, I will not bring myself as low as to call him. For what na?”
“Don’t mind me. I am thinking
like I was thinking in those days. Just move on with your life for the next few
days and let his friends and your friends handle the situation.”
“Ok. What if he comes begging?”
“When we get to that bridge,
we will cross it. Just don’t take permanent decisions in the state of mind you
are in right now.”
“But this is not the first
time this is happening to me.”
“I am aware. That’s why I get
worried when I see you going through it over and over again. The way things
went on in my life and are now repeating in your life is not good at all.
Pastor will always call it vicious cycle.
“Meaning?”
“Meaning things that happen to
people and continue with their children.”
“What causes it?”
“Many things could cause it.”
“Things like?”
“Spiritual problem, personal
mistakes, and maybe the way we present ourselves.”
“I don’t really understand
what you are saying. Can you explain further?”
Her mother paused
for a while, then answered, “Pastor’s wife will be in a better position to
explain.”
“That means I will see her
within the week.”
“Let’s explore both options in
dealing with this matter. Let friends handle Segun while you see pastor’s wife
and know what she will advice.”
Mabel nodded in
approval.
(...to be continued...)
Nedu Isaac
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